hello , its been a long time as i last wrote isnit . so here i am back it again with keyboard . so after for some times i left my blog am come back to write something , eventho i know theres no one will read it but nevermind let just keep writing . Others may have their own way to release their thought , stress and so on and i am with those who chose to write as their stress reliever * high five * .

so here goes the stories .-


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so back then on 31st of july was a turning point of my life . i still remember on how chaos , miserable i felt on that day . That all because it was a day where UPU result comes out . The day before the most not awaited day ( for me ) i cant even sleep , cant even breathe ( hyperbola) . i cant thinking straight as i am so afraid of the result , coz yeah as yknow , i was a stpm student and never got a chance to get into uni back then so this is the last chance for me ( at this moment) to get into IPTA so it wont sound weird and over if i said this result are my last hope . okay goes back to the way , on that day a few minutes before result would comes out - result at 12 pm- i called my best pal which is ijat , we had  a talk for a while - which is almost half an hour- crying , laughing and crying again HAHAHAH you can see how afraid we were back then on that day .

so right at 12 pm , 31st July , result comes out but THIS UNFORTUNATE girl CANT EVEN OPEN THE PORTAL , CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW I FELT THAT TIME . IT WAS FULL WITH AFDIUADGSU27E35278GDJKDB . clock keep ticking , time keep running but im still there stuck at the portal . 12.15 whatsapp message sounding on my phone  , theres goes my best pal ijat annonce that she got into USM !! we were ( me , fifi and aina ) so happy bcs that what she wants , time keep running and fifi strike the next as she was accepted to UNIMAP and of course we were happy for her too but it wont stop there , im still in curious  anxiety and feel like puking bcs i still cannot get into the portal , time goes by and aina was the next one got the home run as she also got UITM 3 over 4 already being accepted to IPTA and there goes me the last one who still lousy about the result . 12.30 P.M i can get thru the phase of the portal and it shows there the collums where i shall enter my ic , with a very slow and heartbeating like crazy af , i wrote down my ic and click the enter button ..

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clock ticking feel so slow , the buffering really dare me at that time ..... and there goes the result  i was so afraid bcs i used to get the " SORRY YOU RE NOT ACCEPTED BLA BLA " before , so when its pop out i close my eyes bcs i cant even look at it yet . i slowly open my eye lid , chon chony -slowly- and... and...and.. it written there " S.....s... CONGRATULATION !!! "


after for some of failure before , after all the rejection that i got , I thank Allah for this opportunity bcs   finally i can be called as uni student . I was accepted to UUM . Alhamdulillah , finally after all that downgraded thingy , insulting even when someone said STPM STUDENT wont get the chance into uni , at last i got a chance to prove  them that THEY ARE WRONG . FREAKING WRONG .


so here my advice to all stpm students

YOU DESERVE ALL THE OUTCOMES AS YOU VE BEING PUTTING A LOT OF EFFORT , I CAN SAID THAT A HUGE MASSIVE EFFORT ON THIS , I KNOW YOU DO . SO DONT GIVE UP , PUT ON SOME OIL , AND DROVE IT INTO TURBO SPEED YOU CAN DO THIS , YOU WILL GET INTO UNI JUST BELIEVE YOURSELF AND NEVER GIVE UP . ALL THE BEST FROM ME

                                                                                                                    XOXO
                                                                                                                          ROSE <3 hello . i know theres no one whos read my blog entry lol but still i want to write .

i just wondering and pondering - both can . nah actually i just dont understand why did people are so bitter . theres one situation that usually happen which people being so petty and bitter .

a few days ago i hang out with my friends , and i told them about my other friend who wants to pursue her studies in same field  as my friend who i hang out with and then she said that even she who have a basic of that course couldnt survive how can my friend will - something like that -

i get a little offended bcs i thought that she will be open minded and openly accept and welcome others to try to be in her field also but when she being so bitter i find it a bit offensive bcs she have that kind of mentality . it sad tho when people who are from a good field and well know field (courses) have this kind of mentality . she should be more aware and welcoming other since we ve different kind of level intelligent . some might be above you some might be below you but it all depend on how much effort that you put to achieve what you want .

as a person who are intelligent and modernization she should say something encouraging instead of spitting those unbearable  words . it sucks and sad . You cannot underestimate people just by looking at her surface area and did not even give a try .

you re offended when people get bitter with you but when you being bitter you just though it all okay . bruh listen , ITS NOT OKAY !!!!

Salam , saya tak tahu dimana lagi saya boleh luahkan apa yang terbuku , maka sini menjadi pilihan .
its being a while but hello .

so tonight i had a tallk with my friends since i post my depression , anxiety and stress result which is shows that my anxiety was at the extremely severe stage , im shook too guys . but what lead me to write tonight is how depression lay inside those who re seems like not having one .

i had some conversation with one osf my old best pal , she said she get the depression result as the higher and she worried bout it , yea finally she expressing what she feels and shared her stories and yes she trying to overcome it now . she thought that  future doesnt convincing her . but i keep telling her that she already did well .

if you guys know , jonghyun which is one of the shinee members was dead bcs of depression and that makes me  worried bcs most of my friends are suffering it . But jonghyun oppa you did great in your life rest well , you ve done great really really great . Goodbye oppa . rest well . its like a wake up to all of us to be more aware about depression .

but what shook me the most tonight was , my friend who always showing her bright side had being longing for attention from her parent and siblings ,thirst for loves , she suffered a lot  and it hurts me bcs she never shows of said so . its very devastating to know that the most happening person was hurting inside . I just know that she used to have that suicidal thought , to run away from home . To stop being alive . Im so sorry pal , sorry for not acknowledge that you re suffering but alhamdulillah she said that every times she thought of it , she will remember the consequences of that action which is will bring harm and shame to her family and friend and most importanly she will suffered even more if she took that nasty action . as a muslim we shouldnt do that . what im trying so emphasize here that you need to be more aware about your friends , give them more attention and help them . They really need help .


The happiest person might be the saddest person inside . help them , hold their hand lift them up . Thankyouu for helping . hai its been awhile since i last wrote .  So here i am !! im back guyssssssss *clapsss* .

so let have so moment of mushy mushy sweetie sweetie lulz . nah actually i just remembered a few thing that happen these past day . Not complaining but .. you know sometime we just couldnt understand why thing goes like that tho ?

its happen about a week ago , when my old time last crush appeared out of nowhere and i dont even expect him to be there . *lulz * i mean , its already a year since i last met him and suddenly he make his special appearance lulz hahahaha nah not that special but that kind of to me . well , it  happen when my friend asked me to watch him and the team having a friendly match so i decided to tag along to school  that evening right after futsal match .

everything went normal at first , yea banana was practicing diggin with her teammate and i was there sitting at the bench lulzing with my friends , but then bananan called me with her urge voice saying that m was on the other side or probably at my left side . it kind of funny because banana was actually praticing with hero in front of me so she called to inform that my old time c had arrived which i do not know that he is the one that my friend would have a match with . AND YES I ALMOST BLACK OUT ONCE I SAW HIM THERE  * lame pan lame * but yea luckily i play it well . . but the best part is hero turned and look at me * smirk face * hahahahha well i think hes cute with that confusing face on .

i admit it that i am shocked but after all i survived it . theres nothing that i could wish for but may allah guide you and blast your journey  , all the best and be happy for your entire life . ammin :) sometimes i just wondering why people keep complaining bout something thats cause by them . how i wish we could stop all this kind of mentality . Stop complaining when you dont even give a good output but hoping for a good input . stop blaming . You start it first then you  should face wih it .

we stand tall in our own opinion but somehow we ignore the fact that we also a human being . we should hear people more rather than makes people hear us more because not all of us were born as a good listener  . lets changed what we could as we want a better level . good day comes when youre ready to changed .


good luck to all , as we can do something for a better future and a better life . as long as we try theres Almighty who definitely will help us to through this sloppy roads . Bismillah for a better life  . kau punya rasa
aku punya rasa
mereka punya rasa

apa rasa aku
ada kau fikir ?

mengembar hebat cerita kau
aku disini terpaksa mendengar
bila masa kau , aku dengar .

MASA AKU , ADA KAU DENGAR ?

jangan persoal bila manusia pergi
jangan persoal bilamana orang tak mahu lagi
jangan persoal bila orang diam seribu
jangan persoal kenapa orang berubah

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